Whether you’re a newlywed couple or already mid-way in your marital marathon, it never hurts to find out more sex-related stuff about your partner. Some of you don’t mind talking about it, and some dread the very idea of sex talk. That’s when a third party has to come in the picture and save the day. And so, I ask you the question: have you ever heard of a sex questionnaire?
Yep, sex questionnaires make the sex talk much easier nowadays. Besides, they’re free (at least the basic versions), so there’s really no harm done in doing them, is there?
Consider it as a chance for meeting your partner anew, and looking at them with fresh eyes. There’s always so much more to discover than what we see and talk about on the surface.
What can you find in sex questionnaires?
Sex questionnaires are quiz-style lists of questions meant to help couples or individuals find their sexual preferences.
Through sex questionnaires, you can find out a lot about your partner, as well as yourself. Sex positions, turn-ons, and turn-offs, whether you’re into stuff like and the like BDSM, you name it!
And, the great thing about them is that they can also give you some ideas if you’re not really used to thinking about sex in much detail.
By doing the questionnaires you’re bound to find something new about your partner sex-wise. Some couples even report having long conversations afterward about what they want to try, what they might consider trying, and what they’re categorically against.
In short, if you want to add a little spice in your sex life, want to probe a bit into your partner’s sexual unconscious, then, by all means, dive into it. Besides, it’s not like you learn only about each other. You’re also going to learn a lot about yourself, even rethink some answers that you’ve given, and discover completely new sexual desires that you never knew you had!
How does it work?
The interesting thing about sex questionnaires is that you can both do them and it’ll only show the answers you have in common! That way nobody loses, nobody gets to be angry or awed by the others’ results and preferences.
List of the Best Sex Questionnaires Out There
Even if you’re the type of couple who talks about sex a lot, it doesn’t mean you won’t get any benefits from doing the questionnaires.
I’m the kind of person that thinks there’s always something new to learn. Just do at least one of them and trust me – you might be surprised by the results. Then you’d have much more to talk about together, wouldn’t you?
NOTE: The sex questionnaires you’re about to see aren’t hierarchically positioned. I opted not to do that because I think all of them serve their own function and are convenient for the different needs people have when it comes to these kinds of quizzes.
That being said, let’s get into it and have a look at the best sex questionnaires currently on the internet!
MojoUpgrade is arguably the most famous sex questionnaire on my list. And there’s a reason for this. It’s easy to use, it has a nice interface (if that’s what’s also important for ya), and I think it might just be the perfect sex questionnaire to start with.
How does it work?
It just a series of questions such as:
- Wake each other up with morning sex.
- Be dominant towards ___.
- Have ___ sit on my face as I give oral sex.
- Be bitten by ___.
- Spank ___ with your hand.
- Blindfold ___.
- Mutually masturbate.
- Have sex in a car.
- Be suspended while having sex with ___.
- Film ourselves having sex.
- Show ___ how I like something from a porn scene.
And the list goes on and on, you get the picture.
Under these questions or statements there are three available answers:
- If ___ wants.
If you press “Yep.” or “If ___ wants.”, then your partner would be able to see the answers. If you press “Nah.”, they won’t.
Now, a lot of people who’ve used the app have noted that they’ve had to look up words and terms more than once.
I’d definitely say it’s a good questionnaire for couples that are new to this kind of sex talk. If you want to explore kinks deeper, it might not be as comprehensive as you’d want it to be (hint: check out Sexxionare for that, second on this list).
If you want my personal opinion, I’d say the answers were a bit too reductive for my taste. Like, for example, I’d put additional answer options such as “Maybe”, or “If we’re both in the mood”, or “Under certain circumstances/Depending on the circumstances”, etc.
Why Reddit users didn’t like it
And a completely different thing is the “If ___ [partner] wants.” answer option.
While generally speaking this might seem like an OK option – sometimes it’s just an expression of the person’s personality rather than differences in sexual desire, it can be used too much from certain partners who very reluctantly agreed to take the questionnaire in the first place.
It can also be especially daunting for couples that have deeper intimacy issues and it might not work well for ones that have been struggling with mismatched sexual desires for years.
So, it’s safe to say that it works better for couples who are already a tad more open towards sex stuff.
Consider, for example, this Reddit commentator and his experience with the quiz:
The entire thing – what little she said she would be up for – was nothing but “if my partner is interested”. She has no desires of her own, no fantasies […]
“Somehow, Mojo made us both feel considerably worse about both ourselves and each other. I had never felt more disconnected from her than when we discussed the results and she felt even more inadequate than she already did.”
It’s fair to say, though, that the commentator agrees it wasn’t Mojo’s fault to begin with, and that if his relationship worked better, it could’ve actually been a positive experience.
And now, the good side of it. As I mentioned earlier, MojoUpgrade is a really easy-to-use sex questionnaire; one that’ll take 10-15 min, and maybe even 20 min if you think about each answer long and hard.
One Reddit commentator happily comments on how MojoUpgrade gave him and his wife ideas for later on when their kid was a bit grown up and they had more time to have sex and experiment.
“It didn’t change a lot for us in the long run, since we have a toddler and are exhausted 24/7. But it made for great conversation for the evening, and we’ve filed away some ideas for later when we no longer have tiny children draining every drop of energy!”
And there are a lot of other Reddit comments that claim how they tried lots of new stuff with the MojoUpgrade questionnaire that they haven’t done before or didn’t even know about to begin with.
“My wife and I just went through it together on the couch and it went well. Tried a lot of new things after that”
“We had some good conversations about the results. We laughed about some of the stuff we were both “hell no” on. We talked about how we might undertake some of the things we both liked.
It was a good experience. I recommend it.”
Sexionnaire is a sex questionnaire oriented more towards people that are into kink. It’s a comprehensive and detailed sex survey that offers lots of options for what you want to do to your partner and what you want them to do to you.
And when I say comprehensive, I do mean comprehensive! Let’s see what I’m talking about.
How does it work?
Sexionnaire is a lot more detailed than MojoUpgrade and it has a bunch of categories for you to check:
- Anal sex
- Dirty talking
- Kissing & licking
- Long-distance sex
- Non-penetrative sex
- Oral sex
- Other kinds of penetrative sex
- Sex games
- Sex positions
- Sex toys & other items
- Sexy clothing
- Two plus
Each of these categories has subcategories. For example, the Masturbation section has the following subcategories you can choose from:
- Finger her ass during masturbation
- Have her finger your ass during masturbation
- Have her help you masturbate
- Have her watch you masturbate
- Help her masturbate
- Masturbate each other
- Watch each other masturbate
- Watch her masturbate
And just wait till you visit the Fetishes section! It’s a real treat for people wanting to get deeper into these options (hint: there’s a category going by the name “Wet and messy”. Get a load of that.)
Basically, this quiz works like the others on my list. First, you answer the questions and then you give the link to your partner. After that, you get to see the answers where you’ve matched.
This is a more comprehensive questionnaire than MojoUpgrade and people just getting into these kinds of couple’s games may find it a bit intimidating. But, of course, this doesn’t apply to more adventurous couples who are still debutants in matters of sexual experimentation.
Also, if you wanna do something quick, this is definitely not the questionnaire for you. I mean MojoUpgrade wasn’t much better in terms of how time-consuming it can be, but this is even more detailed, as I mentioned above.
And another thing is that you’d probably need to google a lot of the stuff featured in the sex questionnaire. You can, however, skip entire sections if you think they’re just too much or unnecessary.
Well, the good thing about Sexionnaire’s time-consuming thoroughness is that it’s so exhaustive, it’s bound to appeal to a lot of people’s kinks and fetishes.
I’d definitely recommend it to couples who know their stuff and just want to get real deep in their hidden desires and sex fetishes and want to find their common interests.
Be prepared to devote some time to it though!
We Should Try It is a bit more fine-tuned than the other two sex questionnaires listed above. It has more options for answers – six, to be more precise, but for more info on them, read further down.
How does it work?
First of all, We Should Try It gives you the chance to choose your age – from 18 to above 60. Then you can choose between answering three types of question packs. There’s the Basic one, containing 75 questions, the Advanced with 50 questions, and the Bonus also with 50 questions, which features various types of advanced sex topics.
It works on the same principle as the other two sex questionnaires above. You can do it on one device (computer, smartphone, tablet) or different ones. If it’s a different one, you’ll get the link to give to your partner so you can do them at the same time. And then there’s a different link with which you can view the results once you’ve both finished.
Lots of questions, folks. You need to spend some time going through them and answering, similarly to Sexionnaire.
Another thing is the three Advanced packs. As I mentioned earlier, if you want to use them, you’d have to pay. Each of them features 50 questions, and they contain various types of new ideas related to sex.
And each pack costs $2.49 so you can open it! Is it worth it? It is if you’re super curious and don’t mind spending two and a half bucks for an online sex questionnaire. But, otherwise, I’d definitely go with the free stuff. Anytime. Usually, the free versions give you loads to talk about without having to spend seven bucks or more for additional sex questions.
I’d say the abundance of available answers is a really strong point of the We Should Try It sex questionnaire.
So in addition to the basic “No”, “Maybe” and “Yes”, you’ll also be able to answer “Already do that”, “If partner interested” and “I want more”.
This is great because it gives couples a chance to reflect on the things they already do or things they’ve tried only once, or a couple of times that they really liked.
Besides, once you choose “Maybe”, “I want more” or “If partner interested”, you’ll also get the chance to rate how interested you actually (on as scale from 1-5) are in the proposed sex question.
Another great thing about We Should Try it is that you can add question(s) of your own! Yep, they’re going to be featured in whichever section you want (Basic, Advanced or Bonus), and you get to choose where you position them – as a first or last question, or in between a specific question from the list. You can also make a second-part question, a sort of a followup to the first one you added.
Personally, I love this feature and I think lots of couples will find it very convenient and helpful in articulating their own fantasies and desires! Besides, it’s totally free and you can add as many questions as you want! What’s not to like?
I really like how this sex questionnaire is named – Carnal Calibration. So dramatic, right? And it’s actually a really good questionnaire! I think it hasn’t received its due attention, so I’m here to correct that, as much as I can.
It’s easy to use, has three answer options – “Yes” (as in “That sounds fun!”), “Maybe” (as in “If my partner was interested”), and “No” (as in “I don’t have any interest in this”).
If I’d have to pick, I’d say that Carnal Calibration is the most similar sex questionnaire to MojoUpgrade, which makes both of them very convenient for beginner couples in this kind of thing. This is because they’re not too intimidating in terms of an endless array of sex fetishes and fantasies, and they have a super-friendly interface (I don’t know about you, but for me, this is very important).
How does it work?
Like all sex questionnaires basically.
You’ve got three levels of intensity to choose from, whatever you’re comfortable with – Beginner, Intermediate, and Advanced.
After that, you can choose the categories you’d like to see in the questionnaire that follows. These are:
- The Basics
- Other Fetishes
Then you can choose the way you want to do it – one computer/device, two computers with a link provided immediately, or a link sent to your partner’s email so they can do it whenever they’re free.
After that, Carnal Calibration asks for your basic info – nothing personal, though. Just yours and your partner’s alias, your age range, and your sex.
And before you move on to the sex questionnaire itself, you also have the option to check a box that asks you whether you want all the answers to be displayed after you finish doing the questionnaire. This option, however, is not readily recommended, although it’s up to you in the end.
What about the questionnaire itself?
The questionnaire is nicely organized and it’s a pretty decent one if this is your first time even hearing about something like this.
Besides the “Yes”, “Maybe” and “No” answers, you can also add your own comment in the “Add Comment” option provided, so your partner can see what more you have to say about that particular sexual activity.
Well, this is a more basic questionnaire folks. Therefore, don’t expect to find the diversity and versatility of topics and acts you’d otherwise find in Sexionnaire, for example.
Although it has a pretty limiting array of answers, much like MojoUpgrade, the option for “Add comment” above the three provided answers just about saves the day.
And, another thing I love about it was the “What’s this?” option next to the proposed sex act. When you click on it, you get a short explanation for it and a link to Wikipedia to find out more. This is usually reserved for less-known sex acts for the wider community and some BDSM terms. But it comes very handy if you don’t wanna open another tab and Google it!
Okay, so here go my thoughts on the matter and what and whom I think each sex questionnaire is most suitable for. So, it’s nothing final, it’s just a matter of personal opinion after having tried each of the sex questionnaires. I urge you to try them yourself as well, if you have the time and desire, of course. If not, just pick what looks like it would suit you best and make the most of it!
MojoUpgrade and Carnal Calibration – Best for beginners
Yep, these two are pretty good options for people who’ve just heard about sex questionnaires and want to see what they looks like. MojoUpgrade is really easy to use and doesn’t require any additional stuff – it just asks about your gender and alias, and that’s it. Carnal Calibration is a bit more nuanced in terms of other types of info (no personal info is required though), and it offers the option for a Basic level of questions (Basic is offered by We Should Try It as well).
Sexionnare – Best for kink and fetishisms in general
Kinks and fetishists of the world unite! If you want to share your numerous passions with your partner, then Sexionnarie is the place to go. I haven’t found a more comprehensive general sex questionnaire.
If you’re interested in more BDSM oriented topics and more info on such questionnaires, make sure to check my article BDSM for Beginners.
We Should Try It – Best for introducing custom ideas
To be honest, We Should Try It may be the best overall questionnaire, but I said I won’t make any hierarchies. I say this mostly because of its options for customization and adding your own kinks and sex acts as proposals for your partner. And this, I think, is bound to satisfy everyone’s tastes, more or less.
Its three-level intensity options are another thing that’s very convenient for all kinds of couples – whether they’re doing it just for fun and have no problem whatsoever talking about sex stuff or ones who’ve been preparing for months to suggest the sex questionnaire to their partners.
And that’s it folks! I hope you’ve found this article helpful and I hope you have loads of fun doing the sex questionnaires with your partner! Don’t forget to talk often about sex and don’t be afraid of suggesting something new!