Myths About the Vagina – 5 Things That Need Debunking

Lots of mystery enshrouds the vagina. It seems that, throughout history, this enticing organ managed to embody a much bigger role than just a simple body part. And this means only one thing – it’s time to debunk the myths and mysteries about the vagina! Men’s fantasies have toyed with the vagina for centuries. From vaginas with teeth (yes, that was a thing in folklore all over the world), to monstrous and magical assumptions about menstruation, the vagina has been a subject of all sorts of ludicrous stories and superstitions.  This might have to do with the vagina being basically a hole, something that’s inner and hidden, and hence inherently mysterious. The penis, on the other hand, is just right there, isn’t it? It’s protruding, you can’t really hide it even if you want to. And that was enough to make men’s fantasies go wild.  Fast forward to present times, you’d think we’re way past these nonsense ideas about the female reproductive and pleasure organs, right? Not quite. There’s still a lot that men don’t understand about vaginas. 

Poor sex ed

Part of why men are so ignorant about vaginas is because there’s not much sex ed to go around with, let along good sex ed! In my previous article on sex myths men need to unlearn, I gave a few statistics about the poor distribution of sex education in the US.  Oftentimes, when it comes to sex ed, abstinence is noted as the primary protection against unwanted pregnancy or STIs. But nobody tells you how you can protect yourself and feel pleasure as well!  So we have to get by, even the most educated of us. Some rely on rumors and half-informed talks they have with their other male friends. Some rely on badly written articles that they encounter online and accept full-heartedly. But nobody thinks of actually talking with their wives, girlfriends, female friends. Or read something that actually makes sense!

What you can expect from this article 

In order to get you started on what is and isn’t true about that wonderful organ that is the vagina, I decided to write this article.  Here you can find the most common myths about the vagina – refuted! I mean, it’s about time, isn’t it?  Coupled with these refutations are the actual truths about the vagina. And I really hope they’ll stick as solid facts in your mind, from now on.  Besides, it’s not just about being more respectful towards your significant other by knowing more about her body. All this knowledge will contribute to the betterment of your sex life as well.  No doubt about it, my friends!  

Myth#1 – Using the Vagina as an Umbrella Term for the Female External Genital Organs 

I’ve heard this countless times. Men throw around the term vagina as a cover term for both the clitoris and the labia all the time. And I mean, all the time But, in all truth, the vagina and the vulva are definitely not one and the same thing. Sure, the vulva includes the vaginal opening, but, I repeat, they’re not the same.  And, let me tell you something fellas. The other parts of the pussy also have their proper names. If you’re able to identify them, you’ll also be able to know what they do.  So get your notebooks and let’s start! 

A very brief overview of female genital anatomy 

I present to you her majesty – the vulva! When guys talk about the vagina, what they’re referring to often is actually the vulva. 

What is the vulva? 

Well, the vulva is basically the outer, visible part of the female genitals and it consists of several parts. 
Source: teachmeanatomy.info
As you can see, lots of parts there. It’s not just the vagina. While you may not need all of them to please your lady, it’s good to know the basic ones. (I mean, heck, I have no idea what the Forschette is, and I’m sure if I ask my wife, she won’t know either).  The clitoris, I really hope, you’re already familiar with. It’s that wonderful, tiny pearl-like tissue that is the most sensitive erogenous zone on the female body! 8000 nerves and counting, yes.  A very important part of the vulva. I can’t stress this enough (you’ll find it in almost all my articles), but most women can’t come unless their clitoris is being stimulated as well. So, put that somewhere at the back of your mind, on stand-by… always!  Next are the labia majora and the labia minora (also called the outer and inner lips, respectively). This is a tissue in the form of inverted lips that gives the characteristic look of the vulva. They’re also pretty sensitive and some women get off when you touch them or massage and squeeze them. Which is why I urge you to find out if your lady likes this ASAP – she’ll thank you for it!  And then comes the vagina. Yes, the vagina, as I mentioned earlier, is a part of the anatomy of the vulva, at least the vaginal opening.  So yes, I hope I clarified some stuff here. Surprise your wife with a little anatomy knowledge next time you hit the sack! 

Myth #2 Vaginas Can Become Saggy From Lots of Sex or Lots of Partners 

This is a very sexist myth, but one that’s been circling around long enough. Sexist because it implies that a woman’s body is no good if she had a lot of sexual partners.   But, this has nothing to do with how things stand in reality.  The vagina is elastic in nature. It consists of muscles that are elastic in themselves and which fold up (sort of like an accordion).  These folds expand and stretch often, and because of the elasticity, they also return to their original form. The surrounding muscles, the ones that are part of the pelvic floor, also help to keep the vagina tight.  So, stuff like, penises, for example, or sex toys, tampons, menstrual cups, don’t really affect the elasticity of the vagina or its shape.  Vaginas are different, and some will naturally be tighter, some less. Also, a tight vagina may not be that enjoyable for the woman during penetration, because of all the friction (even with a lube).  When a woman is aroused her vagina relaxes, which makes it easier to have intercourse. When she’s tight during intercourse, it might mean a number of things. Your partner may be suffering from anxiety and/or depression or is unable to relax for some reason. She also may have generally low libido and find it hard to get aroused.  Vaginas can get stretched from having kids, but they also can return to their original state afterward. And even if they don’t, it’s fine. It mostly has to do with changes happening in the pelvic floor muscles and has little to do with the actual vaginal tissue. 

Myth #3 It’s All About the Vagina When It Comes to Sex 

Guys equal sex with penetration, I get that. But have you ever asked the women what they think and want?  Imagine a reverse scenario. Imagine a situation where your partner only wanted to stimulate your balls and ignored the penis altogether. Your most sensitive, pleasure-inducing spot, completely ignored! Scary, right? Well, that’s how it is for a lot of women out there when you’re concentrating solely on the vagina and penetration.  Also, are you really that comfortable having all the fun during sex and leaving none for your partner? Talk to her and ask her what she likes most. Extend your sexy time by including other activities besides penetration as well.  Most women can’t even come from penetration only! Some researchers even dismiss the existence of the “vaginal orgasm” altogether, saying it’s only part of the clitoral orgasm. The clitoris actually extends far deeper than the little dot we see at the top of the vulva – look at it as a network of nerves that spread out in the inner parts of the female genitalia.  Be that as it may, lots of women out there need other activities during sex besides penetration. Have you ever heard about oral sex or cunnilingus? Fingering or manual stimulation? Playing with the major and minor lips? Parts of the vulva which also have lots of nerves by the way, as I mentioned earlier! Toys like wand or egg vibrators that stimulate the clitoris and are reported to bring mind-blowing orgasms, can help you around too. 

Myth #4 Thinking You Can Have Penetrative Sex as Soon as You Get Hard

The thing about erections is that you forget the opposite sex doesn’t have one. Or rather, they have it, but in a “slightly” different form.  Sure, female genital tissue “erects” – the vulva sort of swells, the clitoris becomes engorged, the vagina produces lubrication. All of this is a sign of female arousal and readiness to have sex and be penetrated.  But even if she’s up for sex, you need to get your woman there somehow. You can’t just show up with a hard dick and stick it in. The chances are great that she won’t enjoy it.  If your momentary libidos are somewhat mismatched, there are plenty of ways you can help your partner get there.  Foreplay, for example! I often wonder why so many guys out there underestimate the power and magic of foreplay? Foreplay can be really sexy. You can look at it as a way of edging as well, delaying pleasure. And guess what? This will make pleasure all the more ecstatic in the end!  And foreplay can mean loads of things: boob play, fingering, using toys, mutual masturbation, dirty talk, oral sex, and other stuff that you find enjoyable before sex.  Whatever it is, just remember that maybe your partner can’t get aroused as quickly as you did. Help her out, get her in the mood fist, and don’t be pushy! 

Myth #5 All Vulvas and Vaginas Are the Same 

Almost nothing can be further from the truth.  In fact, vaginas, and especially vulvas, are quite different in every woman. I mean, they, of course, have more or less the same general characteristics, but they’re nevertheless different from one another. Isn’t that wonderful and peculiar?  And I’ll tell you what – I think the main culprit behind your image of the ideal or uniform vulva is porn.  If you’re a fan of mainstream porn, you’ve probably had your fair share of uniform vulvas – the absence of pubic hair, for starters. Also, in porn women’s vulvas are often similar to one another in terms of size and form. The same, I guess, applies for men’s penises, so there you go.  So after a while, if you haven’t seen many vulvas in real life, and if your partner’s vulva resembles the one you’ve seen online or on tape, you won’t know that not all of them actually look that way.  I mean, this is a basic fact of nature – variation. None of us actually looks the same although we have the same body parts. Just take your penis, for example – no penis is the same as another one, right? Well, the same goes for the vulva.  Dark ones, light ones, bigger major lips, smaller major lips, lips that are more closely together, lips that are more opened up. These are all size and form variations of the vulva. The clitoris as well. There are bigger and smaller clitorises, ones that protrude more, and ones that are hidden under the clitoral hood.  Sometimes, on the surface, you can only see the major lips, pubic hair, and that’s all. And sometimes you can see the minor lips as well. 
Source: thesun.co.uk

Women feel self-conscious about their genitals as well 

And just like with men’s penis size, women also feel apprehensive about the look of their vulvas. Why is this? Well, it’s because there’s an overwhelming opinion on how vulvas should “look like”. The ideal vulva is one with little or no pubic hair and one whose major lips are pretty close to each other, so it kinda forms an almost perfect reversed triangle. “Everything neatly tucked away”, as this critical article suggests.  I recommend you take a look at this project by artist Laura Dodsworth, where she took photographs of 100 vulvas, precisely trying to show how different and wonderful they all are in their own right.  The ideal vulva is a myth and it’s a myth that harms women’s self-confidence. Because of this, women are subjecting themselves to unnecessary and potentially dangerous genital cosmetic surgeries. Why? When the alternative can be for them to love their bodies and be encouraged by their partners to do so as well. 

Final Thoughts 

See, it wasn’t that hard. When you have plain wrong or incomplete info, it’s not hard to unlearn it or complete it.  And when it comes to anything even remotely connected to women, I suggest you talk to them as well. Talk to your wife about her experience as a woman, how she feels about sex, and her pleasure organs.  Be curious. Ask them about their body parts, about their mechanisms of pleasure, about their most sensitive erogenous zones.  Ask them how and where you can touch them for enhanced pleasure. Ask them to show you. Let them lead the way. Be attentive and listen. Trust her touch and movement.  None of you will regret it, that’s sure. The worst that could happen is you’ll come out of it a little bit more educated. 

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