You can be the happiest couple in the world and still feel bored at times. It’s perfectly normal. In fact, boredom is a universal phenomenon that can actually be good for you! By letting your mind wander without being overburdened with mindless scrolling through social media, you can actually free up some space in there to allow the birth of new ideas. You heard that right, boredom can spark your creativity. The same goes for bored couples. You can treat boredom in two ways. The first is a sign that you should do something new in your relationship. The second way is to look at it as space (and time) where you actually get to do all this stuff together. Utilizing this space of boredom can definitely help you strengthen your relationship and improve intimacy with your partner. And, as you may already know but have forgotten a little bit, there are plenty of things to do as a couple when you’re bored!
I know you sometimes feel like you’ve run out of things to do together, that’s simply not the case. There’s always something new you can do. As long as you’re both passionate about things, and each other, and have even a teeny tiny desire to do things together – well, there you go.
Here I want to give you just a little tip of the iceberg. You can try and make the time you spend together more meaningful with these 15 things you can do as a couple when you’re bored.
#1 Consider Giving a Massage
When was the last time you and your partner gave each other massages?
Massages can be one of the most relaxing things imaginable, and doing it in your own homes can only add to the feeling of comfort.
I know some of you might feel intimidated by this idea. After all, giving massages requires special knowledge and techniques, right? Well, I say you don’t need to be so hard on yourself! After all, your home is not a professional massage parlor and you’re not doing it for a living.
You don’t really need to be a pro to make your wife/partner feel special. All you need to do is to:
- Set the mood – create a nice atmosphere where your partner can truly relax and get to feel pampered. You can do this with a couple of nicely scented candles and some Ambiental or relaxing music in the background. Alternatively, you can also use nature sounds if you and your partner prefer that more. Also, if you can adjust the lighting in your home, well, that’d be great.
- Get yourself some massaging oils or body scrubs to make the whole experience even smoother and more enjoyable.
- Try to find out which spots your partner likes for you to massage most. Use your body weight to massage them but don’t break her bones! Also, use your whole palm, not just the fingers, and sometimes even parts of your hand as well. Use broad strokes and avoid pinching or gripping muscles and body parts.
You don’t need to make a habit out of it if you want to keep the spontaneity, but if both of you really enjoy it, try to include it at least once in a while in your pampering routine.
Also, ask your partner (if they’re willing) to do the same for you. If you like it, of course.
Not to mention, massages can often lead to sex. Whole or part-body massages can be a way to flirt and initiate foreplay, which can ultimately lead to sex, so there’s another thing why massages are a good idea!
#2 Shower Together
Speaking of things sex-related… Another way you can spend some quality time together is in the shower. It includes a lot of touching and body contact in general, and it offers you a couple of very sexy possibilities you can do once you’re in it.
You can also massage each other here and scrub each other’s bodies. You can freely explore your bodies while the cool, constant flow of the water caresses your skin.
Honestly, showering together can be such a turn on and a great way to spend time together if you have really busy schedules (yeah, even in a pandemic, that’s possible). I mean, everybody needs to take a shower at least a couple of times a week, right?
You don’t have to do this every time you need to take the shower, obviously. But doing it once in a while can beat a solid episode of boredom; not to mention it can be a good way to show how you prioritize your sex life, including it in daily activities as well.
#3 Cook Together
In almost all relationships, there’s usually one person who enjoys cooking more than the other, or at least has the time to do it more than the other.
But when you find yourselves with some more free time on your hands, and on top of that, you’re hungry, what better way to fill out the time than cook together, right? I mean, you can’t go wrong with this, cause you will get hungry at least twice in the day, every day, so you can’t really say no to the idea.
It’s also quite understandable that one of you cooks better than the other. No matter. It’s about spending time together messing up the kitchen.
And if you want to make it a bit extra fun, you can even turn it into a competition. Sort of like Mr. and Mrs. X cook-off!
And the best bit afterward? You get to eat the whole thing, no matter how bad or good it tastes.
Which brings me to my next suggestion.
#4 Eat Together
In our busy schedules nowadays, we often forget how it is to eat together. Now the coronavirus crisis might’ve changed that somewhat, but even when we’re all in the house, we still miss out on each other quite often.
Sometimes it’s because we have different daily dynamics and different appetites. And sometimes it’s just because we’ve completely forsaken the ritual, which can be very wholesome actually.
The act of eating together is about a couple of things. It’s about prioritizing each other’s company, creating time and space where you’ll get to zone off from daily realities and responsibilities. Also, this way you may be promoting healthy eating habits in your family.
And even if you’re not hungry, try to sit with your partner when they eat. Communicate, take a few bites, tell about each other’s days or plans. Teach yourselves to listen to each other over and over again.
I’m not saying you should eat out of boredom. My point is to make a ritual out of the food eating thingy and help structure your days better, especially in times of crisis.
I know this can sometimes be hard to achieve every day, but I suggest you try doing it at least a couple of times a week. You’ll notice the difference in a short while.
#5 Play Games
Card games, board games, video games… the list is almost endless.
Remember that time we used to play card games in our childhood and youth? With the onset of technology, we seem to push aside these things more and more at the expense of playing some dull mindless smartphone games by ourselves.
But the social character of card games, as well as board games, is priceless.
And even video games. With a two-player mode, you can go a long way on your Xbox, PlayStation, Nintendo, or whatever it is that you use.
Games make you feel adventurous, especially something that engages your fantasy more like board games and video games. And if your team players are playing against others online, well then, what better way to train your abilities to collaborate as a couple?
And, If both or one of you has a more competitive nature, it’s gonna be even more challenging and fun. As long as there are no hard feelings in the end, that is.
#6 Do a Reenactment of Your First Date
I hope you still have (and remember!) the clothes you wore on your first date because you’re gonna need them again, in the exact same combination!
I love reminiscing about my first date – it’s after all the day you met your significant other. And regardless of whether it was the sexiest time ever or a bit clumsy, it’s still fun and nostalgic to reminisce.
So why not do it while you’re bored at home? It’ll make your hands full, I guarantee you that!
It’s because you will need to plan it. All the details must be carefully thought out. The music, the ambient, the recreation of the place – was it a bar? A night club? A restaurant? The city park?
And you can find decent replacements for all of it in your own home, trust me. Heck, you can even recreate the noises of a streetcar or a city park through ambient sounds, if that’s your dilemma!
But the fun thing is to make it a challenge – to make it as close to the original night as possible. Look at it as a joint project and as a way to reconnect and get back to those days where you were still pretty mysterious to each other. Recreating your first date will also help you recreate your initial mystery, which is its ultimate gain.
Plus, the great thing about it now is that there’s no stress. Also, even if you didn’t bang at that first night together, you can still do it now, as a complementary addition to the scene!
Or if you don’t feel like doing your first date, then just go on a regular date! Here are some indoor date ideas you can try in your home!
#7 Just Talk
Talking has been an age-old solution to boredom, and it’s easy to see why. Talking means sharing – sharing your daily activities, your daily hits, and misses; it means reflecting – on each other, on your family, friends, work, life in general, it means engaging with each other.
And the same goes for gossiping as well! Did you know that gossip can actually be good?
According to anthropologist and evolutionary psychologists Robin Dunbar, professor at the University of Oxford, “idle chatter with and about others gave early humans a sense of shared identity and helped them grow more aware of their environment… “
I suggest, however, that when you resort to talking on whatever subject, deep or superficial, you turn off your devices. Just log off, cut back with the online presence if only for a few hours. Look at it as a time of reconnecting and recharging.
#8 Cuddle and Kiss More
What better way to bond than to hug and kiss? After years of being together, many couples simply forget the daily pleasures of hugging and kissing. The only time they do this, it seems, is when they’re about to have sex, so in the middle or as part of foreplay.
But I say do it for its own sake! Cuddle while you’re watching a film, or even when you’re just roaming around the house – go to your partner and cuddle them, tell them a nice word. French kiss them. Everything’s allowed.
#9 Have Sex
Okay, this just might be the number one thing to do when you want to beat boredom. And not only that – sex helps you build intimacy and bond, of course, by releasing all those nice hormones inside of you.
If you’re bored with the sex you do have, try doing something new for a change. Consider using sex toys, explore sexual roleplay, but also foreplay ideas, and also try to exchange sexual fantasies and try out new sex positions.
#10 Have Movie Nights
Everybody likes movies, right? Nowadays there’s a bunch of streaming platforms so you can have cinema right in your own homes. With plenty to choose from, you’ll have movie material for years to come!
Try and do the following: have the movie night once a week, once every two weeks, or even once a month if you’re too busy. Choose a particular genre (like noir, or French new wave, or black and white films, or just Hollywood blockbusters, doesn’t matter) and feel like a movie curator! Dim the lights, get some popcorn and snacks, put on the volume high.
If you can, I’d suggest you buy a movie projector and show films on one of the walls of your home. If you’re both film buffs (or at least one of you), It’s an experience like no other, I guarantee you that.
#11 Organize a Karaoke Night
I love me some good karaoke night. I mean who hasn’t yelled at full volume, blind drunk, to their favorite song while the lyrics strolled past on that psychedelic tv screen?
If you’re a fan of singing or if it’s been an unfulfilled wish of yours to become a singer, well this is your time to shine. Get some microphones (or some spoons if there’s none available), plug in the tv, find some ridiculous songs you can sing at the top of your voice, and do a duet with your partner.
Or watch each other as you sing and then roll down on the floor laughing.
#12 Work Out Together at Home
I mean, obviously you know the benefits of a workout already. But doing it together can be much more fun than sweating alone. Also, it’s easier to motivate each other when you’re working out in tandem.
And you can do lots of workouts together in your home. You can do yoga together (counts as a workout, I think!), you can do HIIT exercises in your home, you can do pushups, planks, lift some minor weights (you can even do this with bottles of water if you need something right away), and countless other exercises you can google to do at home together.
#13 Pick Up a Hobby Together
While I was writing this, an image came to my mind: Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore in “Ghost” touching the hell out of that blob of clay on the potter’s wheel (and touching one another in the process as well.)
I mean, you get the picture. Doing a hobby together can be a lot of fun. Not to mention it can also be a time of bonding for couples.
Here the list is vast: you can pottery (duh!), take painting and illustration classes, sign up for a creative writing class, enter a cooking class for some exquisite cuisine.
Get into astrology if that’s more up your alley, or maybe even astronomy! For which you will need a telescope, no doubt. Or start learning code, get into carpentry, purchase a good camera and learn more about photography!
Again, the choices are practically endless.
#14 Take a Walk Together
Even in times of pandemic, you can still take a walk. It can definitely do you some good. So why not take a stroll around the neighborhood or visit the nearest park when you feel bored at home?
You’ll get some fresh air, a chance to clear your thoughts, and hold hands! Yes, something you haven’t done in years, right? I mean a stroll with your partner can be a really intimate thing, and even more so in a freakin pandemic. Why? Because the two of you outside are probably the only people you can trust to get closer than six feet to each other, amirite?
#15 Sign Up for Online Dancing Lessons
Even if you’re not a fan of dancing, the bigger the challenge! When was the last time you danced together?
And I don’t mean that clumsy tiptoeing around at a random friend’s house party, or maybe some night club long ago.
I’m talking about real dancing! A real dance. Like the one, you may have had on your wedding day.
Dancing is a great activity for so many reasons. First of all, it keeps you moving, so it’s good for physical health. Second of all it also keeps your mind engaged because, hey, you gotta watch the steps, right? Thirdly, it keeps you literally close to your partner, so you get to feel their every movement, their arms, their back, even their breath on your face… sexy!
If your partner knows how to dance (whatever kind it is), ask her to teach you. Even if you think you won’t like it, give it a go. If you’re the one who knows how to dance, teach your wife/partner. Urge her to give it a go as well, even if she doesn’t like it at first.
Nowadays it’s not that hard to find dance lessons online so you don’t have to visit a studio. Just surrender to the rhythm, keep your partner close to you, and start dancing!
The worst thing you can do is to take your partner for granted. And that’s easy to do when you’ve been married for a long time.
The stability that a long-term relationship offers is reassuring, but it can also wedge you in a comfort zone that might turn out not to be as comfortable as it looks and feels.
While boredom can be good for a person (I wrote, in the beginning, why), you shouldn’t let be bored with one another for too much time. It can make you isolated and unappreciative of your partner.
That’s why it’s important to always stay open to suggestions and indulge your partner once in a while, even if you don’t feel like doing so. Urge them to do the same. Responsiveness is one of the key actions you can do to (re)build intimacy in a relationship and solidify the bond.
These things to do as a couple when you’re bored are only a fraction of what you can actually do.
I urge you to follow your own personal interests and passions and try to share them with one another. It’s usually better when it’s done in a pair.