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How to Make Your Wife Feel Desired and Win Her Heart Again

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Photo by Damir Spanic on Unsplash

Everybody wants to feel desired, that’s nothing new. We all need constant reassurance of our self-worth, both when it comes to our bodies, and also our emotions. We want to feel sexy, we want to feel loved, we want our partners to be hot for us, for people to take our clothes away simply with their eyes… But, when you’re in a long-term relationship or married, and you get a little too comfortable with your wife or your partner, even if you love each other beyond the moon, chances are that you’ve stopped making each other feel sexy and desired. And that’s when the question of how to make your wife feel desired comes along.

Chances are you’ve stopped treating each other like admirers, looking at one another with fresh eyes, acknowledging the effort you put into the whole relationship, and into your sex life. Or maybe you haven’t? 

Well, since you’re here, I’m assuming something related to your married love life has gone haywire at a certain point and you want to get back on track. Maybe your wife isn’t responding to your efforts to turn the heat up like she once used to… Maybe it’s you yourself that’s changed – or maybe both of you together. 

Whatever the case, if there’s still love, understanding, and a dormant spark of desire in your relationship, things can always be improved – you can end up re-enchanting your partner, your girlfriend, or your wife, and give your sex life, well, new life! 

And what better way than re-learning how to make your wife feel beautiful and desired?

How to Make a Woman Feel Desired 

There isn’t one superior way for how to make your wife feel desired, but it’s definitely worth a shot to include at least a couple of the tips I’ve included here and see whether her mood improves, she feels more confident, and, of course, whether that has any effect on her libido. 

Bring Back Kissing 

Kate Evans, a successful therapist and counselor from Illinois, says that one of the first things she asks couples when they come for counseling is how often do they kiss. 

She notes how this sole answer can give her lots of information about the connection a couple has, their emotional, as well as their physical intimacy. 

If couples don’t kiss often or at all it might mean they’ve lost touch of themselves as romantic partners, and they may have started to perceive each other more like friends. And that can be a problem. 

One of the first things you can do to re-introduce kisses in your relationship is to kiss your wife daily. Do it in the morning, do it before you set out for work, do it once you come back home, and definitely do it before sex. Do it as a form of foreplay. Isn’t that a perfect time to give a little homage to the way the French do it?

But also kiss like you mean it, that is, kiss because you mean it. Often, kissing in a long-term relationship can feel habitual. So it’s all the more important to bring the passion into it, at least from time to time. 

Also, Throw in a Couple of Hugs During the Day 

Don’t get me started on all the benefits of hugging. From stress reliever to heart health guardian and overall immunity booster, hugs can also be a great way to bond with your partner on a daily basis, in small chunks. 

Pair that up with the occasional hand-holding and you’re on a very good track to reinvigorate the romantic intimacy in your lives. 

Use the Power of the Gaze 

Now, feeling desired has a lot to do with the act of looking. Humans are visual creatures – we like to look at stuff, plain and simple.

And people also like to be looked at. Ok, not always, but when it comes to flirting, building romantic intimacy, and sex games – they sure do. 

After all, one of the basic tenets of flirting is eye contact itself, right?  

Well, then I suggest you use it as a means to flirt again with your wife or partner. 

One of the things you can do is time. Yes, you can time your gaze, holding it long enough so you can both play the game. Let her catch you watching her, seeing the intent and desire in your eyes. 

Initiate Sex 

It’s normal that in long term relationships you find yourself having less sex than when you started dating. But that doesn’t mean that less sex translates to less satisfactory and quality sex life! 

A good way to make your lady feel more desirable is to initiate sex. But, the important thing is to initiate it in times when you don’t usually have sex. Like, for example, when you both need to go to a party, before dinner, lunch, or breakfast, before you or she goes to work, in your office, in her office… Basically, anything that’ll make the act spontaneous, and show her that you can do it anywhere with her! What’s more, you’re letting your lady know that you’re prioritizing her over everything and everyone. You’re telling her that she’s more important than work, food and, of course, sleep. 

If you have deeper issues regarding sex and intimacy, then you can check out my article on how to talk about sex with your partner. And if you feel like you could use a few more lovemaking tips, you can read my article about how to spice things up in the bedroom. 

Don’t Forget to Look After Yourself Too 

Leaving a good impression on your wife or partner doesn’t end after the first year of the relationship. It’s a continuous, ongoing process of trying to look best for your partner, and trust me, women can always tell when we put effort into our looks. 

So, next time you may want to consider putting on a fresh, clean shirt; maybe even get a new cologne or perfume. Trim your beard or grow a new style you haven’t tried before… anything goes as long as you get to surprise your lady with something new. Trust me, the longer your relationship, the more your partner will admire the effort. 

Don’t Be Shy When it Comes to Compliments

Truth is, compliments aren’t that hard to come by and it’s really hard to run out of them. That’s the great thing about them – there’s always more from where that came from! And compliments can be a really simple answer to the question of how to make a woman feel desired. 

You can, for example, compliment your partner whenever she gets a new haircut or does something with her hair. You can tell her that a new shirt or those new pants and dress look gorgeous on her, or that you simply love the smell of her perfume. You can also compliment any special skills she has or things she does around the house; maybe a super-tasty meal she’s made, a creative item from a hobby she enjoys… Or just tell her that she’s beautiful, a classic – but mean it!

Basically, anything goes, any time of the day, anywhere!

But, I suggest you don’t just say things for the sake of saying them… she’ll notice that your words don’t have much meaning behind them. Instead, try to be more specific about your compliments. Show her that you really mean them, that you really pay attention to what she’s done. 

Pay Attention to Her

As you can see, giving her compliments also means being attentive. And there’s nothing sexier than attentiveness. Attention means that you deeply care for what the other person wants to express. As the great poet Mary Oliver says: “Attention is the beginning of devotion.” 

This can mean anything: from listening to her carefully when she has something to tell you, to respecting her opinions. It can mean engaging in real conversations for things that concern you both – such as your emotions and feelings for one another. 

Attention is also a part of appreciation. By being attentive, you’re acknowledging the everyday effort she puts in both of your household and your relationship. You’re also acknowledging the best sides of her personality and the way she manages to fight off her demons and to put up with you, in the first place. 

Don’t Be Afraid to Flirt 

Flirting is fun, there’s no doubt about it. And who says you can’t do it in marriage or with your long term partner? 

Flirting is one of the easiest ways to add spice to the romantic side of your relationship and give it a dash of freshness. Wondering how to make a woman feel desired? Touch her. Give her kisses throughout the day. Send her a flirty text, hell, even sext her while you’re at work – there are no rules! 

Let her know that she’s on your mind all the time and shower her with compliments… this is all considered flirting, plus you’ll give your partner the attention she deserves. 

Besides, being married or in a long-term committed relationship can actually make your flirting more daring and give it some edge since you’re not afraid that you’re gonna freak out the almost-stranger-subject-of-your-attention. So you can easily be explicit without feeling weird! 

Final Thoughts

I hope I managed to convince you that making your lady feel desirable isn’t as hard as it may seem. It all comes down to a good listening ear, a few kind words that come from the heart, acts of appreciation and attention, a bit of spontaneity, and a dash of naughtiness to show your significant other she’s wanted at all times! 

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