The world of fetishes and kinks is a wondrous one. A diorama of countless practices, sometimes difficult to navigate by – especially if you’re a newbie. But, worry not my friends, because that is exactly what you will come to know here. I will give you a list of kinks and fetishes, an introduction into the rich world of sexual fantasies and their many faces.
A few words about kinks, fetishes, and their types
Before I begin listing them, though, I want to say a couple of words about kinks and fetishes and make a distinction between the two, so you can know better what I’m talking about.
A fetish is defined as a “sexual fixation on a specific object or act that is absolutely necessary to a person’s sexual gratification.” In other words, you have a fetish if you can’t even get aroused or come without that particular object or act. Now, it’s fair to say that we’ve come to use the word fetish kinda more freely now, so it might not reflect its original meaning that much. Also, you can have a fetish for something that’s not something necessarily sexual. You know, just think of stuff like a shoe fetish (high heels, let’s say), or a material such as leather, for example.
And what is a kink? Kink is considered as a broader category than the fetish. So it usually encompasses sexual interests that are outside of mainstream practices. This can be a range of activities considered alternative, like BDSM or sexual roleplay. If you were wondering, yes, fetish is a type of kink. But kinks are not fetishes.
A List of Different Types of Kinks and Fetishes
Okay, now that we’ve got the definitions out of the picture, it’s time to actually start talking about the fetishes and kinks. Yeah, this is the part where it gets really interesting.
So let’s start, shall we? Nothing’s holding us back!
Bondage is a practice that falls into the category of BDSM (that B part in the acronym – yes, it stands for “bondage”). As you might’ve guessed already, it’s a form of restraint. It means that one or both of the partners enjoys being tied up or tying someone up.
The person who enjoys being tied is the submissive in the sex play, and the one who does the tying is the dominant one. And the person who actually enjoys doing both is very aptly called a “switch”.
Most often bondage play is done with ropes or tape (a special kind that’s gentle to the skin). Handcuffing someone to the bed or the radiator or wherever, as a form of sex play, is also definitely considered bondage, and so is using scrafs, ties and even belts. Suspension bars and shackle mounts are considered a more advanced and more extreme form of bondage. The interesting thing about it is that it can also be a form of art, because of the rope tying, like in this Japanese type bondage called “Kinbaku”.
Another self explanatory titled kink, orgasm control is a type of sex play where the dominant sexual partner is the one deciding when the other is “allowed” to come. This can be done in lots of ways. For example, the submissive partner can wear a chastity belt or be tied up and the dom (short for dominant) will attempt to bring them to the edge of an orgasm. But as soon as he or she anticipates they’re about to come, he/she stops. And this can go on and on, in which case it’s called edging.
This kind of kink means that the submissive partner enjoys being hit or spanked by the dominant one. Here also you can use a variety of props: whips, belts, paddles, crops or just your own hand.
Impact play is often accompanied by the use of a “safe word” in order to ensure that the submissive partner is going to be safe. There are also some rules (unless partners agree otherwise), like hitting body areas with more fat that can withstand friction and pressure more than others.
Ever thought of putting a different use to those candles you have on your nightstand to set the mood? Yeah, turns out there’s a BDSM kink that includes candles, called wax play. It describes the act where one of the partners gets off at being poured hot wax on their body.
As with any form of sensation play, wax play demands being attentive and careful, and getting consent from your partner, of course. But for those who enjoy a bit of extra hotness on their bodies, it’s the perfect game.
Cock and Ball Torture (CBT)
Okay fellas, this is for those of you who enjoy being part-time or full-time submissives in the sack. If you want your cock and your balls restrained or under temporary pain, you can always try CBT.
And it can actually mean a lot of things: wearing a tightly fastened cock ring, or balls restraints, as well as chastity devices or cages for the penis and balls. It can also mean punching the balls, or your partner stepping on them with her feet or high heels.
Another one for the submissive fellas reading this, cuckolding is considered a part of a wider area of kink called erotic humiliation. It usually refers to males and it describes a man who likes to watch other (most often) men to have sex with their usual partner.
Depending on the agreement of the couple, sometimes the cuck or cuckold can watch from some corner of the room how his partner has sex with another man. Also, some varieties of this sex play include mocking of the cuckold by either the partner or the other man (or both), usually for the size of his penis or his sexual performance. Other times the cuck is made to stay at home, and the very thought of his partner doing it with someone else is enough to arouse him and provide him sexual satisfaction.
Yes, yet another one for the submissive males of the world! Basically, pegging is a sex practice where the man is being penetrated from his female partner with a strap-on dildo. Alternatively, it can also imply a penetration by a woman who holds a dildo or a vibrator.
I recommend this Bustle article if you want a very open-minded and honest take on the subject of pegging, which I know it’s still taboo and even “controversial” for a lot of straight men out there.
If you enjoy coming up with different scenarios in your head about you and your partner, and enjoy dressing up, you might wanna try role play.
The options are numerous – from the doctor and nurse clichés, to playing out your favorite TV or book characters, the choice is yours as long as you have fun with it.
This is a classic. Foot fetish is usually a pretty common fetish in men. It means that you get turned on by feet – it can be the whole leg, the lower part of it or specifically the foot and the fingers on it. You might get off at the very thought of looking and admiring them, or by touching them, licking them, playing with them. Some men may even enjoy smelling their partner’s shoes.
There’s even a thing called “foot worship” in which these fetishists treat their partner’s foot precisely like an object of worship, massaging it, kissing it, taking care of it (like giving a pedicure, for example), caressing it.
And foot fetish can be followed by other types of play, like erotic humiliation for example. If you’re a sub male, maybe you’d enjoy your partner literally walking over you, or shoving her foot in your mouth.
Gagging describes an erotic practice where one of the partners enjoys having something in their mouth that causes light choking and induces the gagging reflex.
For example, some men really get off at their partner gagging on their penises, since it amplifies the impression that their penis is big enough to even cause that. And vice-versa, some women who have a thing for large penises might get even more aroused by their gagging potential.
Other people, submissives, enjoy wearing gag-balls, or various types of cloth over their mouth.
Now, gagging can be a dangerous practice if not done correctly, so do your homework before starting it, please.
For those guys who are particularly obsessed with breasts and can’t imagine sex without them – there’s the breasts fetish.
This can also include a lot of things – fetishism for lingerie like bras, cleavage, low blouse neckline, the exposure of nipples and the areola.
Breast play is one of the ways you can engage in the breast fetish.
Quirofilia or Hand Fetishism
Yeah, hand fetishism is also called quirofilia and for a lot of people it shows up in an obsession with hands, fingers, especially if they’re well taken care of (like manicure, for example).
It can also mean a desire for the hands to participate in various sexual activities, like fingering or a hand job, but also (erotic) massages.
But, it can also imply getting off from hands while the person is doing non-sexual things, like washing the dishes or picking stuff up.
Fisting is pretty simple – it implies using an entire hand clenched into a fist into a vagina or the anus (it can be male or female).
This activity, especially for people who’ve never done it before, can be pretty painful, So, if you decide on it with your partner, make sure you’ve covered the consent part and that you’ve purchased enough lube to last you through the night.
Edge play is a type of kink that describes an activity usually considered dangerous. It can be many things. Gagging, which I mentioned earlier, is a type of edge play. It can also mean choking like breath play, bloodletting, knife play, or even gun play. Usually stuff that cause more intense physical pain are considered as edge play.
Bear in mind that this should all be consensual and you should both be aware of the dangers edge play poses should you decide to try it out.
Psychological Edge Play
As you can tell by its name, this one is in the mental domain and it usually involves humiliation and sado-masochistic mind power games of the two partners.
Golden Shower or Urophilia
Call it whatever you like – golden shower, urofilia or pee play, it’s an activity where one of the partners gets turned on by peeing on their partner, or getting peed by their partner.
Again, if you’re the one excited by the idea of peeing on your partner, make sure she is too.
Wet and Messy Fetishism or Sploshing
Golden shower is part of this wet and messy fetishism which implies activities where a person is aroused by being covered in big amounts in something. It can be anything, really – pee, sperm, food, massage oils, drinks like beer or wine, ice cream, raw eggs (although I wouldn’t recommend this because – hey salmonella!), etc.
Some people may want it on their naked skin, some would want to have it on their face only, or their clothes.
It has to do with the feeling the texture of the substances on your skin, but also their colors, and consistencies.
Voyeurism and Exhibitionism
Voyeurism is when you like to watch someone being naked or engaging in sexual activity, usually without their consent.
And exhibitionism is its opposite – it describes the act of a person who likes to be seen naked or doing a sexual act by someone else, but usually without them knowing beforehand about it.
Both of these can be used as forms of erotic consensual play. Couples can alternate between the roles of observer (voyeur) and the object who’s being seen, as well as the person that shows desire in being seen doing something sexual.
This list is not final, not by a long shot. But obviously, I can’t include all possible kinks and fetishes here. Look at it as an introduction to the field, and do some more research if you’re really tickled by what’s out there, and what you and your partner can try out together.
Unfortunately, kinks and fetishes are still a taboo, even nowadays. Hopefully, though, this list will make them less of a stranger in your eyes, and more something to think about and even engaging in.
Of course, as with any form of sex play, the majority of kinks and fetishes demands being extra careful, knowing what you’re doing, and of course, the most important thing – consent. Talk with each other about what you want to try out, what you’re skeptical about, and where you really draw the limits. Also, consider using a safe word, so you can get out of any unpleasant or painful scenarios quickly.
When you master this, the fun is all yours!